Private Parts to the Gods are We, They Play with Us for Their Sport, Part 1

Anybody who knows anything about Me knows that I find pointless optimism annoying. Few things gall Me more than having someone say "You'll be okay," or "Everything will work out." These things may be true, but they may also be false, to wit:

1. Bad things still happen to good people, and good things to bad people.

2. If you've ever thought that you hit the bottom I am positive someone came along and showed you just how much farther you could fall, probably by pushing you.

3. Die, optimist, if you think I had more than two things to say on the subject.

"Why are you raging about this subject, Master?" you might ask yourself. In this regard I look forward to completing your training, so that this question is never asked again.

This is the phrase I hear most often: "You'll do fine, XXXX, just be patient." I hear this all of the time. I want to strangle these people with dental floss. People with Lou Gehrig's disease, like, say, Lou Gehrig, can be patient all they want. It ain't gettin' better. Sometimes things just start in a state of suck, and progress into more advanced levels of suck. Sometimes, your miserable life unlocks the codes to access the hidden, secret levels of suck. Then, see if you have the patience to beat the game. I don't.

What does this have to do with TWITCH, you ask. TWITCH is the reason I hear this. TWITCH is what makes everyone so sure than everything will work out.

More on this to come...