Wednesday, January 31

The First Supermodel to Become President?

Matilda had her 4 month check up yesterday, during which she received her first round of vaccinations (we had to wait until we had insurance). She did very well with the shots--screamed for about 30 seconds and then shut up immediately when I gave her her chupeta (oh how she loves her chupie!). She spent most of the visit charming her Dr, who found it impossible to be serious with Matilda grinning at him and laughing when he put his stethoscope on her. She was measured for the first time since she was 1 month old. Stats: 26 inches long (90th percentile), weight 13 pounds (25th percentile), and head circumference 44 cm (95th percentile). Tall, skinny and brilliant...that's my genius supermodel daughter!

Time for your close-up. Madame President?

Tuesday, January 30

Babies on a Plane

(I think some people might prefer the snakes)

Last week M. and I took a trip to Kansas City to visit the family. The question this begs, of course, and that I keep hearing, is "How was the baby on the plane?" The simple answer is that she was fine. To be fair, though, M. is an exceptionally well-behaved baby, and I wasn't expecting it to be a problem. However, that is not the only reason M. was well-behaved. I spent the 4 hours there and the 4 hours back making sure that she was entertained and happy the entire trip...and it was EXHAUSTING. As I explained to Ian: "Imagine that you have to sit on the couch with M. for 4 hours without watching TV or lying down. Imagine that you have to keep her from fussing for that entire 4 hours." Not pleasant. But that's the responsibility of being a parent...preventing your child from being a pain in everyone else's ass. That is why this apparently newsworthy story about the family who got kicked off of a plane because their 3-year-old was throwing a tantrum pisses me off so much. It makes the rest of us look bad. It is kids like that who caused people to look at me on the plane as though I were wearing a burka while fingering suspiciously large fingernail clippers. I was flying Southwest, an airline that has an open-seating policy. I boarded first (because that's the big perk of flying with an infant) and then had to endure getting the fish eye from every passenger who boarded after me. (This is, I might point out, an excellent way to get a row of seats to yourself.) And you know what happened? Upon landing, I got comments from strangers after every flight about how good my baby was, what a pleasure it was to fly with her, and how they wished every baby could be so good. I hate to deny my daughter her props, but I like to think that I had something to do with that. Thank you, Tracy, for being a responsible parent and making sure your baby was happy and quiet no matter how exhausting it was to you. Thank you for not letting your baby scream as though that was your God-given right as a parent. Thank you for being a decent and considerate human being.

Oh, you're welcome world...you're very, very welcome.

I wish I could send flowers to that flight crew who kicked that family off the plane. Why is it that some people think that parenthood allows them the opportunity to behave like assholes? That nobody else on a plane (or in movie theaters, or in waiting rooms, or in restaurants) matters but them? And that nobody can say anything about it without being stigmatized as some sort of child-hating, evil bastard? And hey? Where's my frikkin' free ticket for being a good parent? Why do the assholes get to fly wherever they want courtesy of the airline and I just get a pat on the back? Because assholes profit, my friends, assholes profit.

M. and I prepare to board for her first flight

Thursday, January 4

Christmas Cheer

Oh, what a busy Christmas it has been! I think that Matilda was a bit overwhelmed by all of the excitement and visits and new and different people, but she was a real trooper and we had a great holiday. Here are some highlights:

This is Matilda's new favorite game...it is called, "How much of my fist can I force in my mouth before I start to gag?"

You know you live in the suburbs when your neighbor does this to their house. Christmas spirit anyone?

Can I help you?

Mix Master M., Santa's coolest elf, strikes a pose on Christmas morning

My future's so bright, I gotta wear shades...(or it could just be that Southern California winter sunshine!)

Gettin' some lovin' from her good friend Claire (aka, sweetest baby in the universe). Comment most often received while hitting the after-Christmas sales with Mama and Auntie Erin? "Oh! Are they twins?" Yeah, lady...just born 9 months apart.