The Heat is On!

It has been frikkin' HOT this week--as all of you know, unless you live in a cell with no windows or doors--and I have finally discovered why pregnant women don't like heat. It makes you swell up like a goddamned freshly-cooked sausage! I have had to put my wedding ring away for safe-keeping until after the baby is born (which Ian is not happy about, but I'm sure he'd be even less happy with a nine-fingered wife), and my Birkenstocks have become the only shoe I can stand to wear. I want the second trimester back! Wah!

I've definitely gotten over my ambivalence of a few weeks ago when I wasn't sure how I felt about being ready to give birth...I'm ready now! Bring it on! Ian asked me this week how I felt about only having 2 months of freedom left. I laughed at this and asked him how he figured I was currently "free." I am enslaved by a violent baby 24/7 who controls my body and emotions. I'm not sure how that is "freedom." Freedom to me, I told him, is the freedom to actually hand the baby over to him, kiss them both goodbye, and hit the town with my girlfriends for a night of drinking alcohol and highly-caffeinated beverages, eating sushi and soft cheeses, and wearing a killer pair of shoes. (Please, God, please let my shoes still fit after I give birth!!!) I think the better question is how do you feel about your last 2 months of freedom? Heh heh heh. If only I could make his feet swell up.