Thursday, May 29

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of SUCK!

So this entry has been sitting on my blog, unposted, since, well, my birthday. The reason for my extreme procrastination is that I originally intended to write a review of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull to go along with it, but every time I even thought about the movie, all I could do was weep silent tears of intense disappointment. You think I am exaggerating here, but I actually sat in my house, after everyone had left my birthday party, CRYING because I hated the movie SO MUCH!

Perhaps I better explain my birthday party for those of you who weren't there. At midnight, on MY BIRTHDAY, the new Indiana Jones film opened. When I found out about this, I felt that it must be Steven Spielberg's and George Lucas's way of personally rewarding me for a lifetime of devotion. It was immediately obvious to me what had to be done...I had to have an Indiana Jones birthday party. The party, of course, would end with all of us attending the midnight showing of the film in our awesome costumes. My friends, being the great sports that they are, all went along with it. Thus, the greatest party ever conceived took place, with one minor drawback--THE MOVIE!

Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was, for me, an even greater crime than the Star Wars prequels. At least those films did little to mar the memory of the original trilogy, being set in a different time with mostly different characters. I just wrote them off as being more aimed towards a new generation of kids...let the kids have the new films, I will stick to the old. But this film, this so-called Indiana Jones film, has forever undermined my love of the character, the filmmakers, and all of the actors. I don't think I will ever be able to watch the original trilogy again with the same loving eye. For that, I want Spielberg and Lucas to PAY!

The reason that I am finally able to speak of this tragedy is that with the looming release of the DVD, I feel the need to warn anybody who didn't have the misfortune of already seeing this film...DON'T DO IT! Let that dog lie! Just pretend that the fourth movie doesn't exist! That's certainly what I am trying to do! And this morning, one of my favorite bloggers, Puntabulous, posted a link to a brilliant review of the film that articulates nearly everything I hated about the movie. It is long, but very funny and right on target. For all of you who have asked me over the past several months, "What didn't you like about the movie?" it and know.

Still, my party was great, and, as you can tell by now, the costumes were incredible. Hopefully I can allow the memory of the party to live on while the memory of the movie fades away until all I remember is a TRILOGY called Indiana Jones, AND NOTHING ELSE!

And now a quiz for all you Indie fans out there:

Match the costume with the picture!

a)Marion Ravenwood
b) Colonel Vogel
c) Classic Indie (x2)
d) Adolf Hitler
e) Elsa Schneider
f) Willie Scott (Shanghai)
g) Jock the Seaplane Pilot
h) Kazim of the Brotherhood of the Cruciform Sword
i) Nightclub Indie (Shanghai)
j) Indie's "Love You" Student (x2)
k) Short Round
l) Professor Indie
m) Willie Scott (India) (x2)

No comments: