Playgroup Grinch

Last week Matilda and I joined Crystal and Luci at their playgroup's holiday party. It was at some bounce-house-super-extravaganza place in town where kids are free to give in to their inner-beasties and run around slamming into each other and the walls without causing too much damage. This was especially interesting for Matilda, who, having just learned to walk, was a bit confused by this new challenge to her mobility. Thus, she reverted to crawling or simply sitting and trying to ward off the other children with her evil glare.

Why is this girl invading my personal space?

The world has become so squishy!

By far her favorite part of the party was the dress-up room, where kids are able to don costumes, get on a stage, and sing karaoke. Matilda stood up there modeling her outfit, perfectly content just to be in the spotlight. I have no idea where she gets that from!

The lovely cowgirl fairy.

I feel really bad when I take M. to things like this because it becomes clear to me that she does not play well with others. It's not that she's anti-social; she just doesn't know how to play and is overwhelmed by other kids. Apart from Luci, all of her playmates are adults and dogs. The obvious answer would be for me to join a playgroup myself, except for one small glitch--I LOATHE playgroups.

I don't want to sound like a snob here--I'm not saying I'm too cool for playgroup or anything--I'm just a woman who had a kid despite the fact that I hate being around kids. Young kids, that is--the five-and-under kind who have no ability to reason or empathize and are just like a bunch of evil little monkeys. Screaming evil little monkeys. I can tolerate my own kid, kids related to me by blood, and the kids of my good friends, but throw me into a room with twenty or so strangers' kids and well, that's just one of the rings in my own personal hell.

You see, playgroup is chaotic, and me no likey the chaos. I like structure and organization and careful planning. There are plenty of people out there who can just tune out the maelstrom, who can, for example, sit around breastfeeding and putting together snacks while conversing non-stop about pregnancy while a dozen toddlers chase each other screaming. I cannot. I want to find a kidney table and sit the kids around it for craft time or story time or any kind of time that involves them focused on some activity rather than testing my nerves.

If I were a better mother, I'd make the sacrifice and take M. to playgroup despite the threat to my own sanity...but I'm selfish and am not willing to endanger my mental well-being for M. to be well-socialized. She'll just have to be a little hermit baby until she starts pre-school.

Aaahh...preschool.