Tuesday, May 2

Week 20: Half Baked

OK, when last we met I was awaiting the results of my amniocentesis. I'm just going to skip over the gory details of those horrendous two weeks and tell you what you want to know.

1) Twitch is fine and dandy! Totally healthy!
2) Twitch is a GIRL!

Now, in order to keep the spirit of honesty alive in this blog, I must admit my first two reactions:

1) Oh thank God Twitch is OK!
2) But I don't want a GIRL!

Yes, it's true. Anyone who knows me well knows that I had my heart set on a little boy. Really set. In fact, I didn't know just how badly I wanted a boy until the nurse told me it was a girl. I must confess, some tears were shed. Ian also wanted a boy, but he got over it pretty quick. And why wouldn't he? He'll be the father of a girl, worshiped and adored her entire life. I will be the evil mother, the reason she had to go into therapy. My worries essentially stem from my loathing of all things "girlie." I hate pink, Barbie dolls, and those stupid Bratz things. I hate the puke-pink girl aisle of the toy section in Target and wonder why do boys get all of the cool toys while girls still get fake make-up and plastic cookware in this day and age? I hate baby dolls. I hate the manipulations that little girls put each other through. And lord help our family if our daughter ever decides she wants to be a cheerleader.

People tell me not to worry because this will be my daughter so she will be a strong, independent, and intelligent woman just like me. I'm not counting on that. I've seen too many girls who are nothing like their mothers to believe it (including me!). So I'll just have to hope for the best, and in the meantime, I'm trying to be optimistic by developing a list of things that are good about having a girl:

  • Girl diapers are easier to change.
  • I am really good at pony tails and fancy braids.
  • I get to read her my favorite books that a boy might not appreciate. (Little House on the Prairie, Anne of Green Gables, Alice in Wonderland, etc.)
  • The title of first female President of the United States is still available.
  • I'll inherit tons of cute girl clothes from my friends who have girls.
OK, I admit that's a pretty pathetic list, but it's a work in progress. Any suggestions are welcome.

Another exciting milestone this week is that I'm halfway done! Hooray! Only twenty weeks to go! I'm sure it's all downhill from here...right? Right?! (See how skillfully I delude myself.)


ZParents said...

Here's one in favor of girl: no protracted debates, agonizing research or soul searching about the merits and demerits of circumcision.

ZParents said...

Here's another: you already know the horrible things girls do to each other, so you can adequately prepare her. I have no idea how one takes a punch...

ZParents said...

And... girls pee in toilets, sitting down. That's all that I am going to say about that.

ErinBW said...

Your body is making this baby, so, never fear, she will be the perfect baby for you.

Doug said...

Boys don't like Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. Really. Hmm. I wish someone had told ME that. No wonder I had no friends... Oh, but hey, glad to hear the impending one is doing well. (Well, not that impending, but that was the adjective that came to mind at the moment, and backspacing is so much effort.)

ErinBW said...

Oh, and there is NO guarantee that "Twitch-as-Boy" would have turned out the way you envisioned him. In fact, projecting a specific set of expectations on your kid is pretty much a guarantee that s/he will not turn out the way you plan.

Brian said...

. . . and since the dowry system is a thing of the past, girls are much cheaper in the long run--they don't tend to eat as much. They are also more likely to "marry up," thus providing you economic stability in your retirement years. All in all, a great return on your investment.