Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of SUCK!

So this entry has been sitting on my blog, unposted, since, well, my birthday. The reason for my extreme procrastination is that I originally intended to write a review of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull to go along with it, but every time I even thought about the movie, all I could do was weep silent tears of intense disappointment. You think I am exaggerating here, but I actually sat in my house, after everyone had left my birthday party, CRYING because I hated the movie SO MUCH!

Perhaps I better explain my birthday party for those of you who weren't there. At midnight, on MY BIRTHDAY, the new Indiana Jones film opened. When I found out about this, I felt that it must be Steven Spielberg's and George Lucas's way of personally rewarding me for a lifetime of devotion. It was immediately obvious to me what had to be done...I had to have an Indiana Jones birthday party. The party, of course, would end with all of us attending the midnight showing of the film in our awesome costumes. My friends, being the great sports that they are, all went along with it. Thus, the greatest party ever conceived took place, with one minor drawback--THE MOVIE!

Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was, for me, an even greater crime than the Star Wars prequels. At least those films did little to mar the memory of the original trilogy, being set in a different time with mostly different characters. I just wrote them off as being more aimed towards a new generation of kids...let the kids have the new films, I will stick to the old. But this film, this so-called Indiana Jones film, has forever undermined my love of the character, the filmmakers, and all of the actors. I don't think I will ever be able to watch the original trilogy again with the same loving eye. For that, I want Spielberg and Lucas to PAY!

The reason that I am finally able to speak of this tragedy is that with the looming release of the DVD, I feel the need to warn anybody who didn't have the misfortune of already seeing this film...DON'T DO IT! Let that dog lie! Just pretend that the fourth movie doesn't exist! That's certainly what I am trying to do! And this morning, one of my favorite bloggers, Puntabulous, posted a link to a brilliant review of the film that articulates nearly everything I hated about the movie. It is long, but very funny and right on target. For all of you who have asked me over the past several months, "What didn't you like about the movie?"...read it and know.

Still, my party was great, and, as you can tell by now, the costumes were incredible. Hopefully I can allow the memory of the party to live on while the memory of the movie fades away until all I remember is a TRILOGY called Indiana Jones, AND NOTHING ELSE!

And now a quiz for all you Indie fans out there:




Match the costume with the picture!

a)Marion Ravenwood
b) Colonel Vogel
c) Classic Indie (x2)
d) Adolf Hitler
e) Elsa Schneider
f) Willie Scott (Shanghai)
g) Jock the Seaplane Pilot
h) Kazim of the Brotherhood of the Cruciform Sword
i) Nightclub Indie (Shanghai)
j) Indie's "Love You" Student (x2)
k) Short Round
l) Professor Indie
m) Willie Scott (India) (x2)

I Scream, You Scream...

Today M. had her first ice cream cone.

What you don't see here is how M. used her napkin to very carefully wipe up all her ice cream dribbles and clean her mouth between each and every bite.

That's my kid!

...in which Tracy Becomes Certain that Dorkiness is Genetic...

"Oh boy, it's game night! Daddy, do I need a d10 or a d20 to make this check?"


"You need to shake a die a LOT if you want a good roll!"



"Oh my God! A natural 20!"


"I just can't believe how good I am at D&D!"

Joie de Vivre

...in which Tracy Begins Wondering if OCD is Genetic...

Earth Day Blossoms

In honor of Earth Day this year, I present the photos I took while walking to our local Earth Day celebration. It's days like this that remind me to get out of the car more often, even if it is just to see the flowers in my neighbors' yards.

Have a very green day!

A Numbers Game

M. may not love English words, but she loves counting. Thus it was that when Grandpa Gary visited us this week, he got to read 8 Little Monkeys 18 times. Because those dumb-ass monkeys never learn to stop bouncing on the freakin' bed!

Eastertime in the LBC

Easter in Long Beach. There were eggs...


And adorable babies to hunt the eggs...


And Easter brunch at Parker's Lighthouse...


And merry-go-round rides in Shoreline Village.







Thank you Easter Bunny!

Matilda, Version 1.5

Today M. turned one and a half. I'm not one of those parents who throws a party or gives presents for my child's half-birthday--I hope a friend would beat me senseless if I was--but in many ways this day seemed like more of a milestone than her one-year birthday. She is more a toddler now than a baby, more of a little person than a little beastie I have to care for. We celebrated by throwing away all of her pacifiers and getting shots at the doctor--woo-hoo! She has not yet decided to speak English, although she is very fluent and expressive in Matilda-ese. She read aloud to the pediatrician from Dr. Seuss while he examined her. I couldn't resist the great light in the doctor's office, so I took the opportunity to shoot some half-birthday portraits.

Happy half-birthday, Matilda!

Bestiality and the Toy Industry

A while back, my friend Tammy sent me a photo she saw in the paper of a new toy from the New York Toy Fair. She thought it would make me laugh...

And I did laugh...after I got up off the floor from the apoplectic fit that the sight of this monstrosity threw me into.

I laughed because all I could think was, "It's a Whorse."

I guess they've gone through every permutation of Bratz and now they have to start sexualizing animals since all the little girl dolls are good and slutted up.

Lord help us.

A Very Belated Birth Story

Here is a prize for all of you loyal readers. I have, only 18 months late, completed Matilda's birth story. You can read it here. I started the post on her first birthday and only completed it today. So, if you are so inclined, you can read it. I know a lot of you have heard this story before, but it's a good one and worth reading. I will warn you, though, that it is very, very long and not for the queasy.

The Long, Dark Winter of My Blog is Over

So here's the thing. I HATE this time of year. From New Year's Day to Easter just, well, sucks. The weather is horrible. TV is horrible. No decent movies are playing. Valentine's Day happens. There is NOTHING to do but sit in the house and pray for Spring. During these horrible few months, my creativity is sapped. I don't want to scrapbook, I don't want to write, and I certainly don't want to blog. But my fans, all seven of you, demand that I come back to the keyboard. OK fine. After Daylight Savings Time, my spirits are a lifting a bit, and I feel my need to create slowly coming back. Plus, we've had a long spurt of Global-Warming-Is-Really-Happening weather. So I'm gonna get warmed up by posting some pictures of the world's cutest baby, and then I'll go think about what I'm going to post tomorrow.

I LOVE the swings! Love 'em, love 'em, LOVE 'EM!

I LOVE my brother! Love 'im, love 'im, love 'im!

I LOVE my sunglasses! Love 'em, love 'em, love 'em!

This post is dedicated to those people who ride my ass about not updating my blog: Lorna, Mom, Micaela, Doug, Meredith, Kat, and Tammy.

Our Tiny Little Foodie

When in a Vietnamese restaurant, do as the Vietnamese...

What are these sticks doing in my mouth?

Okay, Daddy, I got this!

Note: The goldfish are just an appetizer...she proceeded to chow down on some potstickers.

Meme Time

Dan tagged me with this meme a few days ago, and since I forgot to include him in my anglophilia list, the least I can do is reply.


Seven sets of eight things

8 things I am passionate about
Protecting the environment
Games
Rhetoric and critical thinking
Writing
Most things British
Food
Protecting our civil liberties by exercising our civic duties
My family

8 things I want to do before I die
Get a real job
Travel around the globe
Go to stunt driving school
Catch up on my scrapbooks
Eat at French Laundry
Pay off my student loans
Get fit
Rule the world

8 things I say often
“Please” and “Thank you”
“Stop that!”
“No!”
“Wha-wha-WHAT?!”
“For the love of all that is holy…”
“Whose turn is it?”
“PHONE!”
“I said ‘excuse me!’”

8 books I have read recently
World Without End – Ken Follett
Happier – Tal Ben-Shahar
The Kite Runner – Khaled Hosseini
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – J.K. Rowling
Reviving Ophelia – Mary Pipher
Getting Stoned with Savages – J. Maarten Troost
Mayflower – Nathaniel Philbrick
The Assault on Reason – Al Gore

8 songs I could listen to over and over again
“One” – U2
“Muhammad My Friend” – Tori Amos
“Lord Raise Me Up” – Matisyahu
“Shining Star” – Earth Wind & Fire
“Miracles” – Jefferson Starship
“Sabatoge” – The Beastie Boys
“Three Little Birds” – Bob Marley
“Gold Dust Woman” – Fleetwood Mac

8 things that attract me to my best friends
Sense of humor
Kindness
Intelligence
Spontaneity
Loyalty
Generosity of spirit
Talkative
Willingness to be silly

8 people who should totally do this meme
The eight (OKAY, nine) people in my sidebar.

5 Things That Sated My Anglophilia This Week

1) The Tudors: If Showtime and HBO aired only original shows, I would happily cough up the money for premium cable. I am, however, unwilling to pay good money to sit through the crappy selections of movies just to watch the 3 or 4 shows I want to see that will come out on DVD eventually anyways. One of those shows is The Tudors, which has been ripening on my Netflix list for months. I just got the first disc this week and am promptly hooked, despite the fact that Jonathan Rhys Meyers looks nothing like King Henry VIII.

2) New episodes of Charlie and Lola: I play these while Matilda's in the room, even though she pretty much ignores each episode after the opening song plays. Still, I play them for HER.

3) Jane Eyre: Absolutely the greatest adaptation I have ever seen! Thank you, Masterpiece Theatre, for this intensely satisfying 3.5 hours of period drama. My toes curled.

4) The Bayeux Tapestry couch gag on The Simpsons: I cannot find a clip or even a picture of this week's brilliant couch gag, wherein the Battle of Hastings is replaced by a medieval battle between the Simpsons and the Flanders over the Simpsons' couch. Hopefully you saw or recorded it.

5) The Other Boleyn Girl: The book currently occupying my nightstand. I though I'd better read it before the movie comes out. I am, though, getting a little confused by reading this at the same time I'm watching The Tudors. Still, there's no such thing as too much of a good thing.